Two lawyers got into a fight at the Multnomah County courthouse.
At least, I guess you could call it a fight.
witnesses said one man slapped the other and the other responded with a punch to the forehead
A slap and a “punch” to the forehead? A punch to the forehead is either a poorly thrown punch that didn’t connect. Or a wussy’s shove that did.
Lawyers brawling in a courthouse. I wonder if anyone was interested?
People in three nearby courtrooms spilled into the hallway to see what was going on, some just in time to see the two men literally butt heads.
Did someone just run into three courtroom and scream out: “Lawyer fight!!!” I’d totally want to see one lawyer deliver a crushing knock-out blow, followed by: “I rest my case.”
How did these rough, men-of-action finally resolve their dispute?
Judge Lawrence … heard both sides of the story before determining that both men were equally responsible for the tussle. He told them to apologize to each other and if it happened again he’d permanently ban them from his courtroom.
It’s like they’re little boys on the playground and he’s the principal. Well, fortunately they’re adults and will have to accept the consequences like adults, right?
As their adrenaline wore off, their embarrassment crept in, the judge said. He decided not to report them to the Oregon State Bar for possible discipline — what happened wasn’t deserving of ruining two careers, he said.
Yeah, because there’s no way a lawyer would ever litigate something like this if it meant ruining a career. If I ever get in a physical altercation surrounded by police, I hope to find a judge that lenient.
Now for the lawyer-sissy-fight jokes. (Please add your own in comments):
They should have spent some of that law school tuition on boxing lessons.
The fight only lasted seconds, but they charged their clients for a full hour.
Related posts:
Two lawyers get into a fight in a courthouse and the judge just tells them to settle down?! Compare:
Two middle-school boys get into a fight (equivalently slapsticky) and (1) the school goes into lockdown; (2) the police are called in; (3) the town’s SWAT team is called in; (4) the regional child psychiatrist is called in; (5) the kids are expelled, sentenced to compulsory anger management classes, and prescribed “calm-down” drugs; (6) the parents are compelled to take parenting courses; (7) personal injury lawsuits are filed on behalf of both boys; and (8) all local news organizations descend upon the middle school. And yes, it all goes on the kids’ permanent records.
Grown-ups sure cut each other a lot of slack.