St. Unicorn's Day

While sipping my small-batch roasted coffee as I biked to work, I started wondering which quirky indie band to listen to later tonight when drinking my craft-brewed porter.  (If previous sentence does not make sense, click here.)  March 17th.  Beer.  That’s right, it’s St. Unicorn’s Day!

While most of America, including countries like Ireland and Boston, celebrate the religious holiday St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll be joining Portlanders as we celebrate the original holiday, St. Unicorn’s Day.  Like many religious holidays, St. Patrick’s Day is actually based on a pagan holiday known as St. Unicorn’s Day.

One of Portland’s dark secrets is that the city was built on an ancient unicorn burial ground.  There is plenty of evidence to support this, including archeological bones and horns in dirt type of evidence.

But today isn’t a day to haggle over the existence of unicorns, sabertooth tigers, or polar bears.  Today is a day to remember the forgotten heroes who grazed in our lush, green forests.  Who used their glowing horns to guide the way for Lewis and Clark.  Who impaled overzealous fur trappers trying to take more than their fair share of beaver pelts.

There are those who believe Oregon rain is really the tears of unicorns.  On St. Unicorn’s Day, we drink to remember, instead of our usual reason, drinking to forget.

What are you doing to celebrate St. Unicorn’s Day?

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3 Comments

  • Unicorns have always been an inspiration to me and they reflect back to me on how to live my life.
    I feel that Unicorns love me and feel a kinship with me that I rarely ever feel with others.
    Without Unicorns in my life I would be very sad and lonely.
    They also make tender lovers.

  • [...] any topics left to cover . . . except of course the Unicorn burial ground (he should have visited earlier this month). Oregon [...]

  • [...] it is not merely legend that this great city was built upon an ancient unicorn burial ground. In Mike Vogel’s treatise on St. Unicorn’s Day, he has confirmed there are archeological bones and horns in dirt type of [...]

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