It’s official. Portland has a major league soccer team. And every 10 year-old girl in Stumptown is squealing with delight.
Don’t jump down my throat. I get it, it’s a global phenomenon. I’ve seen pick-up soccer games in Brazil and attended a soccer game in England between Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham United where the most exciting thing about the game was wondering if I’d be assaulted by hooligans outside the stadium. I was mostly amazed to watch thousands of burly tough drunk dudes singing their team songs in unison through THE ENTIRE GAME. And these aren’t chants, like DE-FENSE (clap clap) DE-FENSE. They’re full-on songs, like this video (which isn’t mine):
But this is America and the allure of soccer usually has to do with women scoring a goal and ripping off their shirt. I can name exactly three soccer players: David Beckham, Pele, and Andrew Shue from Melrose Place.
I kind of like the idea that Portland has a major league soccer team, even though I didn’t know major league soccer existed until five days ago. And if I understand things correctly, David Beckham could in theory be traded to Portland, which means Posh Spice would live in Lake Oswego.
What I’m really hoping is that the popularity of soccer in Portland will give rise to the popularity of soccer hooliganism. And then I want to see a big melee in Pioneer Square between Blazer fans and soccer hooligans. My money is on the soccer hooligans. 10 year-old girls fight dirty.
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Yes kick ball is very much a girlyboy sport.
Soccer is like any other sport. When you see American football played by old geezers in a muddy field you don’t think of the NFL. Same with soccer. Real soccer is played at a very high level requiring better fitness, strength, and skills at least the equal of any other sport. Even at the high school level it’s obvious that soccer players of both sexes are excellent athletes. Most American men can’t play it. But a few can. Same with women.
In answer to the question. Yes. It is still a girls sport.
Great Blog!
Yes, kick ball is very much a girlyboy sport.